I have a new theory. Melania Trump might be the world’s best poker player.
There are Easter Island statues more expressive, monks who’ve taken vows of silence who give more away about themselves – but she has managed to end up holding all the cards
against the supposed leader of the free world.
The First Lady is currently MIA, having long ago stopped bothering to pretend to be all that interested in First Ladying or being in the same postcode as her husband.
The last time Mrs Trump was in Washington was March 5, and since then, neither hide nor hair has been seen of her as she pursues her busy agenda of lip balm application and dressing like she’s starring in a live action remake of Carmen San Diego.
And this, my friends, is what true power looks like.
Oh, I know Mr Trump has the nuclear codes, can order a drone strike on any pizzeria that forgets his garlic bread and is one of the few people on the planet who can single-handedly cause global share markets to wobble like an underset jelly, but her?
The missus has a far stronger hand.
Circa 2025, Mr Trump would appear to need his good lady wife far more than she needs him.
Imagine, just for a moment, if Mrs Trump decided she’d had it up to the pussy bow with having to listen to Marjorie Taylor Green’s “Jewish space laser” mumblings and dealing with Elon Musk’s children all over the East Wing.
Melania Trump remains a mystery, despite being one of the most famous faces on earth. Picture: Maciej Gillert/Gallo Images Poland/Getty Images
Imagine if she decided, as they might say in her native Slovenia, dovolj. (I’ll translate – enough).
Imagine if influential Trump chronicler Michael Wolff is on the money with his claim in his new book All or Nothing: How Trump Recaptured America, “Mrs Trump f***ing hates him”.
The Trumps have long since trampled every other norm and custom of presidential life, so it would only be fitting if they gave us history’s first White House divorce.
That’s a scenario with a whole lot of downside for the president – and a hell of a lot of up for the First Lady.
